Many moons ago, when I first met my husband, we both lived in NYC and enjoyed the finer things in life, such as all the amazing restaurants it had to offer. We both are foodies and tried out new spots frequently on our dates. I had become a vegan at the tender age of 15, failed miserably (I blame not having the wonderful world of internet back then!), added chicken back into my diet soon after and when I started dating my now husband I still ate chicken, but no other animals.
Then one year, maybe after 3 years of dating, I went and joined Meatless January challenge by PCRM. After that I decided to keep my diet animal-free. I just didn’t see any desire to eat chicken anymore. I wasn’t fond of it, my meals already were mostly veggies anyway, so it was an easy decision. I just ate it out of a habit. That decision was not well received by my husband with whom we already had so many issues after buying our big, expensive, 100-year old Victorian house in the NJ suburbs. He felt like I took yet another common interest away, food. We loved eating and cooking together and he felt like this was yet another hit on our relationship (yeah, he might be a bit of a drama queen sometimes…).
I felt guilty because how he felt, but I just knew I would never go back to eating meat. I didn’t do it for the health reasons, I did it for ethical reasons. I feel very strong connection with our animal friends and now that I had seen the light, it could not be unseen. There’s was no way I would ever be part of the barbaric treatment of animals. My heart is bigger than my appetite. There’s SO MANY things to eat that one cannot justify eating animals at this day and age.
Husband would keep criticizing my decision for years, making comments, blaming me for us not being able to eat at all the restaurants he wanted to eat at because they didn’t have veggie option for me (or if they had just one option and I didn’t want it), but I knew that he couldn’t keep acting like that forever so I waited it out. Just like I predicted and always knew that things will get better, he got over it. First he started always checking restaurant menus to see how many veggie options they had for me. Then he started cooking vegan meals for me. Then he actually agreed to eat something that had no meat in it. What?! Someone call the men in white jackets!
12 years later we have reached mutual understanding. I have not been able to convert him or even reduce his meat consumption. I do not nag him about it every day, or criticize, like I used to. You cannot “make” someone vegan. They have to want it themselves. We still cook together often. He buys and cooks his meat. I make my veggies and he eats them as his side dishes. Quietly I am hoping (and knowing) that one day he will stop eating animals. I just know. I’m planning to spend my birthday (March) at an animal sanctuary so maybe looking these divine creatures in the eyes and spending time with them will be the turning point.
